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Monday, November 19, 2007

Rhetorical

My brain, it runneth over with imponderables today.

  • WHY am I still wheezing after 6 days of prednisone?
  • WHY hasn't Britney been handcuffed and bodily dragged into rehab yet?
  • WHY did my brain feel it necessary to wake me up last night 30 minutes after I fell asleep (at 1 in the damn AM, for the record), merely to check what time it was?
  • WHY does the leading strip-mall developer in our little burg keep replacing low-traffic jewelry stores with high-traffic (chain) restaurants, without adding parking spots?
  • WHY is a mini-Butterfinger bar from the office candy drawer so much more satisfying than a healthy salad?
  • WHY is my hair falling out by handfuls? (Hands-ful?)
  • WHY is Chris Cooper such an incredible actor that even Ryan Phillipe looks good next to him? (Go rent Breach. Immediately. Then come back and tell me how he does it.)
  • WHY is it that I don't notice how truly filthy my windows and woodwork are until 2-3 weeks before being inundated with house guests?
  • WHY, if we can put men on the moon, is it apparently impossible to engineer a truly comfortable bra?
  • WHY did it take the concerted efforts of six family members and upwards of seven phone calls to manage an RSVP to a Thanksgiving Day invitation from my in-laws?
  • WHY does my brother from Singapore bring duty-free Scotch, but not duty-free tequila?

3 comments:

BOSSY said...

Rhetorical, huh? So then you don't expect Bossy to answer these? Because she was just about to be all over the one about the Diamond stores replaced with Italian eateries.

RuthWells said...

Dude, I just heard we're getting an Olive Garden where John Harvard's used to be. An Olive Garden. Surely that is one of the signs of the coming apocolpyse? (Again, rhetorical.)

Jerry said...

Unfortunately, for all of us, Swarthmore is in the culture-free zone called DELAWARE COUNTY! For example, have you ever been to a more pathetic Borders? And are there any other Borders right next to an ORECK store?