Thursday, May 28, 2009

Il Faut Reculer pour Mieux Sauter

As a sign of just how far 'round the bend I have swerved, I will share the embarrassing factoid that I have now spent in excess of a full hour (time which I cannot spare) surfing the website of a children's furniture vendor who has approached me to do a giveaway (my first!) on this blog. You would think it would be easy to select an item in the $100 range and post "Hi, Peeps! Leave a comment and win an ____ !", but it has absolutely paralyzed me.


Right now balance seems completely unattainable. In the several weeks since I've last blogged many interesting and noteworthy things have occurred, and yet the experience of each skitters away from me like a suddenly-illuminated water bug as I careen ever-onward to the next set of obligations and commitments. The baking business continues to take up more time and energy than is available, my day job continues to be unspeakably stressful, my kids' lives have been full of birthdays and activities and playdates and field trips and pool outings and logistics, I'm trying to get my vegetable garden underway, fundraising season is almost upon me, and I've barely seen my husband in the last few months, and on and on.

So naturally, last night I went out to Wednesday Spaghetti at her house.

I don't think I've ever written here about the difficulty I have making friendships with women. It makes me anxious. Kristin talks passionately about the many ways that women lie to each other (both directly and indirectly), and when she hosted Wednesday Spaghetti a few weeks ago, she explicitly did not make herself crazy cleaning the house and putting on the hostess show. She and her husband put out folding tables, cutlery and chilled beer, and let the rest happen. And it was comfortable and I made new friends and did not judge myself against the other women there and it was awesome. (For the record, I want to be Kristin when I grow up.)

So when Emily sent her invitation, there was no way I was going to miss it, even though it meant starting the week's baking a few hours later than usual. And it was relaxed and comfortable and I saw friends both new and old and it was great to just chill for an hour. (And if she ever offers you homemade strawberry-rhubarb crisp, EAT IT. Do not hesitate.)

I stepped back for an hour last night, and it gave me a little bit of a push to get through the rest of the evening's obligations. I'm still exhausted and strung out, my shoulder is in spasm for the third time in six weeks, and I'm anxious about next month's blood work, but Wednesday Spaghetti is lodged in my memory bank as a delightful oasis in a sea of stress. I'm looking forward to the next one already.


Lora said...

I tell you that Wednesday Spaghetti is going to change the world!

I'm glad you could get in on it!

jennifer said...

Ruth, I'm just sorry that you and I barely overlapped at Emily and Dave's delightful dinner last night.
I know what you're talking about, at least in terms of kids' activities at the end of the school year. Freakin' nonstop. It's hard to enjoy events when there's no time to catch your breath between them. Not to mention everything else going on in your life.
Hang in there!

Charlie Seymour Jr said...

Wednesday Night Spaghetti sounds great. And you should keep writing for therapy and to create chapters in the book about your life. What a crazy mix of sweet and sour that you so lovingly tell here, Ruth. I was captivated by the last post. Please keep going with it... among the many other wonderful things you do.

Charlie Seymour Jr

Anonymous said...

Dangit. I wish I had known about it. I would have loved being there. I am finding more and more that I need these spaghetti type thingies to keep me sane and alive. Any time spent conversing with ladies about nothing in particular is valuable for me. For even I, yes I, have difficulty making and maintaining friendship. No doubt because my life is difficult to maintain.

I'm glad you got to go!

Well Read Hostess said...

1) don't break down, ask for help instead.

2) one way women lie to each other is by not asking for help. I suck at this.

3) you need a better role model. Seriously. I am the least grown up person I know. I'm flattered, but I also now feel an obligation to go find you some actual grown up role models. Try Oprah.

4) the fact that anyone would describe anything that could possibly occur at my house as a "delightful oasis in a sea of stress" is going to have me laughing all day today. Thanks for that.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I am so bummed I missed it.

I want a sponsor to offer me something. How does one make that happen?

Gwen said...

I've only been to one Wednesday Spaghetti and it was truly awesome. I've been thinking about hosting my own, but I don't know if I could be like Kristen and be so laid back about it. (I want to be Kristen when I grow up, too!)

How cool to be approached by a sponsor. I would LOVE to do something like that. I don't think I'm quite as popular as you to have that happen! But if it ever did I would think that I had truly arrived as a blogger. Right now I feel like I'm just playing at being a blogger, you know? Anyway, congratulations on your first giveaway!