Gun-Shy

Two weeks ago I did something I've never done before -- I took down (unposted?) a post here at Lemonade & Kidneys. It was from three months ago, and it was discussing impressions and reactions to my first few weeks at my new job. And while it wasn't incendiary or really even mean-spirited, it was perhaps a little blunt.

And someone from work found my blog.

And I got outed to my boss, which sucked just about as much as you might think it would.

I truly couldn't imagine what I'd posted to cause a negative reaction, as I think I'm very conservative (usually) about anything that might cause offense, but upon re-reading, I could certainly understand how people's feelings were hurt, and I was MORTIFIED -- on several levels, not the least of which being that I was always the kid getting her feelings hurt over trivialities, and I felt awful that something I wrote had had that impact on anyone.

But I was also mortified that someone had come away with an impression that really didn't match my true feelings. I loathe being misunderstood or misinterpreted, and that button got pushed pretty hard. And I've only myself to blame, for being a little flippant in choosing my words.

***

There were no real repercussions at work. After my initial orgy of self-recrimination, I calmly and sincerely apologized to the people I needed to apologize to, and my boss recognizes that no harm was intended. Still, I now find myself hesitant to post about anything. Kids? Health? Family? All now seem to be potential minefields. I want to just get over it, but I'm stuck.

(And thanking my stars that I've never posted about my sex life, or anything TRULY mortifying.)