The trouble with holding it all together as well as I have is that, like in an off-shore oil rig with shaky maintenance history, the pressure builds until it finds release.
Which it did, this morning.
In my boss's office.
It's been a long time since I've had a job that brought me to tears (non-profit theatre companies, I'm looking at you), and this morning could have been a singularly mortifying experience. Instead, my boss was amazingly cool and insisted that I go home and take time to re-fuel. Which was really kind of unbelievable given the current workload.
***
Dad had a rough weekend brought on by an adverse reaction to Amoxicillan. His tummy finally had settled down by Sunday and today he even ate a little. But tonight he's vomiting again and the feelings of helplessness that I had partially beaten back (by folding laundry, naturally) are right up front and center again.
Boss, if you're reading, I may cry in your office again tomorrow. Just a friendly warning.
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a sweet-and-sour blog about life, baking, and
living with polycystic kidney disease
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2011 PKD Fundraising: In My Father's Memory
Click here to read his obituary or make a donation. All proceeds benefit the PKD Foundation, where 80% of the annual budget is spent on direct research and patient services.
Raised so far: $5,136
Raised so far: $5,136
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2008: $10,601
2009: $9,225
2010: $10,343
2011: $5,136
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7 comments:
I'm so glad you've landed in a place that knows how to handle some overflow, so to speak.
And I wonder if there's a bad batch of Amoxicillin going around; we had a reaction to it in our house this week too. Odd. Not quite as critical in this one as yours, but still.
Thinking of you.
Sending virtual hugs.
~HG
Oh sweetie. Hugs and hugs and hugs.
I, too, fold laundry for a little Zen peace. You are an amazing woman who is strong and full of love. So you are allowed (and encouraged) to lose it as much as you need to get through. Don't fight it - let it wash you through you and out each time. Thats the best advice I can give to someone who probably has alot more to teach me than I have to teach you. Thinking of you.
Argh. I'm sorry things are so rough
Ruth, anytime you need to decompress at Burlap & Bean, or that cozy little place in town, let me know.
Love to you.
Sometimes it just comes out without asking permission. Take yourself off the hook and do what you need to do. Thinking healing thoughts your way.
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