Pages

Thursday, May 19, 2011

No Answers

Does he realize that he's dying?

Is there any chance he'll come out of this recent downturn?

Does he recognize me? (I know he knows that I'm not Mom, but that's all.)

Does he want to keep fighting, or does he just feel he should?

How long can he possibly live on so little nutrition?

Is he going to slip into a coma?

Does the disconnect between his thoughts and his words worry him, or is he even aware of it?

Is it humane to continue to encourage him to drink Ensure and take his anti-rejection medicine?


Does he remember blowing me a small heart out of glass tubing at his lab thirty-some years ago? (I still have it, unbroken.)


How much longer can this possibly continue?

6 comments:

MemeGRL said...

Gah, that's a lot of questions. Good luck with the answers, whatever they are. And remember I'm here. Laundry, dog walking, whatever.

Magpie said...

Just...here.

Blessed Rain said...

sounds like not matter what you might want he is at the end.
I am sorry - very sorry that you have to see the person you love slowly slip away.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Hugs.

cran said...

Sending up prayers for you and your family....

Kelly said...

Love you, Ruth. Thinking of you and your family.