I'm truly almost afraid to say it aloud, but I really think I'm feeling better. Like, a LOT better. Like, take-on-the-world-and-start-5o-bazillion-projects-at-one-time better.
(Not that I would EVER do anything like that....)
I'm a convert. I started with the light box 2 weeks ago on Thursday, and by Monday or so, I realized that while I wasn't feeling better, I certainly wasn't feeling any worse. The seemingly inexorable slide downward had been stalled.
By the following weekend, after a week-plus with the light, I was feeling distinctly better. I got up on Saturday and started doing errands right away. (Ten-year-old boy + glasses = omfg with the adjustments at Lenscrafters, already!) I may have overdone it a bit, as I crashed pretty hard that afternoon, but I was back at it again on Sunday, making bread and chocolate truffles, cleaning house, and getting started on planning our holiday juggernaut of entertaining.
And today I feel good. I really feel good. I washed my hair this morning and removed a month's worth of stubble, and then made lists of holiday desserts to bake over breakfast. I've been productive at work, finally dispatching some long-lingering projects, and ran errands at lunch besides. I did a little gift shopping. And for the first time in what feels like months, I'm not sitting at my desk wishing with all my might I could just lay my head gently down and close my eyes until it all goes away.
I feel like I have my self back. Maybe if we keep it our secret it will last a while?...